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Want to Be Happier? BE Kind.

1/27/2021

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Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted. - Aesop
Last spring, when the COVID-19 pandemic hit the USA and the city of Minneapolis was on shelter-in-place orders, I started taking a course called "The Science of Well-Being" taught by Dr. Laurie Santos at Yale University. Dr. Santos designed this course for her students who were exhibiting symptoms of stress and unhappiness. She focused the curriculum on research showing beliefs and practices that get in the way of or promote happiness with the goal of arming her students with practices they can use to shift their experience as "Yalies." Although I was not/am not a Yalie, I found the course to be a really sweet thing to do for myself at a time when there was so much uncertainty.

Dr. Santos provided further evidence to the strength of the mind: how our mindsets create our reality. She covered everything from meditation and gratitude journaling, to shifting mindsets about measuring accomplishments and success; spending time in nature, sleep and exercise. After the 12-week course, you know what stood out to me the most?

The most effective way to increase personal happiness is being kind to others. 

Kindness promotes gratitude, empathy and compassion. These feelings help us feel connected with others, less alone. It reminds us that we're not so different after all, but reminds us about the core values that unite us in community with each other. 

Acts of kindness also move us out of selfish ego and into compassion for others. It relieves stress, boosts our immune systems and reduces anger, anxiety and depression. "Feel good" chemicals are also released in our brains, including dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Pain is even reduced by kindness when endogenous opioids are secreted. 

Doesn't that just sound like magic?! 

What I love about this method of mind-body medicine is that there's also a return on investment. Kindness spreads - as evidenced by pay-it-forward lines that last days - and comes back to the giver. Acts of kindness do not need to be extravagant or expensive. They could be as simple as letting someone slide into traffic or sending a "thinking of you" card to a loved one.  

Kindness and compassion are two things this world could always use more of, but especially now as we're rolling into year two of this global pandemic, and needing to continue staying socially and physically distanced.

If this is resonating with you, start with yourself. Self-compassion (kindness aimed at yourself) is a way to relate to yourself that shows support and nurturing. We're culturally encouraged to be self-critical, so if being kind to yourself is a new way of being check out these exercises for getting a self-compassion practice started from researcher Kristen Neff, PhD. If you're trying to cultivate a new health habit, self-compassion will increase your perseverance more than criticism, so this is an important skill! 

It may feel easier to share kindness with the people in your life. Try integrating a small act of kindness into every day and give yourself the opportunity to observe what happens in your own mental and emotional headspace in response to the experience. 



References:
Why Random Acts of Kindness Matter to Your Well-Being
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A Food-FIrst Approach to SAD

11/9/2020

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Vegetables displayed in a grocery store's produce department in woven baskets
Photo by Scott Warman on Unsplash
While autumn is a favorite season for many Minnesotans, it also insights a creeping sense of dread: winter is coming.

The American Psychology Association and the Center for Disease Control estimate that seasonal affective disorder (aka SAD, seasonal depression or "winter blues") impacts 5-14% of Americans, hitting those north of the 37° latitude harder than those to the south of that boundary. The reason location makes a difference is largely due to the shorter days. It turns out sunlight has a big impact on neurotransmitter production including that of serotonin, our happiness chemical (this explains why "happy lamps" are effective treatments of SAD). 

I have this wild theory most Northerns experience some level of SAD. I think we are under-diagnosed and therefore under-reported. Personally, my seasonal depression is mild that I hardly notice until suddenly I'm giggling about nothing come spring when the clouds in my mind lift. 

This winter is likely to be more challenging than years past because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Honestly, I'm worried about us! Our safe social outlets are going to be more limited than in years past, which is often the saving grace of our long winters. So it's important to me to get this information into as many people's hands as possible, and why I'm hosting a virtual class to further the conversation on this topic. 

Most of my clients don't come to see me to get a prescription to move south, so it's my job to find other things they can do in their daily lives to prevent and treat seasonal depression. I take a “food first” approach in my work as a functional nutritionist. and am often putting together a list of healing “superfoods” for my clients to bring into their meal plan. While these items are going to vary from one individual to the next, these are my top 5 picks for seasonal depression prevention that are often making the list: 

  1. Everything in the produce department: Only 11% of the American population is getting the recommended “5-a-day.” This department is your medicine cabinet! In addition to being packed with vitamins, minerals and fiber, fruits and veggies contain these magical compounds called phytonutrients that reduce inflammation, support your immune system and feed your brain. Good stuff can be found in every color of the rainbow, from starchy tubers to leafy greens. Go for as much color as possible – these pigments are evidence of nutritional superpowers. If you have the option between a white potato and a purple, red or yellow potato, grab color. Colorful food also is nourishment for your visual pleasure! Work these ingredients into every meal, aiming to fill half your plate with a colorful variety of yum. 

  2. Fermented foods: Approximately 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut by the community of bacteria and yeast living in and on your body (aka your microbiome). Bolster the diversity and population of that community with live fermented vegetables, like kimchi and sour pickles; miso, tofu and tempeh; kombucha and yogurts. Probiotic supplements are also a good option, but they don’t add nearly as much flavor to your day! 

    If you think of your microbiome as a pet, fiber is pet food. Partner ferments with beans, flax and chia seeds, artichoke hearts, avocados, berries and winter squash to keep your microbiome robust and healthy. 

  3. Cold water fatty fish: There’s a good acronym for the best options: SMASH. Salmon, mackerel, anchovies, sardines and herring are highest in mood-boosting omega-3 fats and lowest in environmental contaminants like mercury. Aim for 3 servings a week. Fish oil supplements have shown promise in preventing and treating depression – have a chat with your nutritionist or nutrition-minded health care provider for a dose that matches your needs…and make sure you’re getting access to a safe, third-party tested product. 

  4. Mushrooms, liver and vitamin D: Low vitamin D status is related to depression and seasonal depression. The bummer is, this “sunshine vitamin” is not readily available to us this far north from approximately Labor Day to Memorial Day because the UV-B rays we need to make vitamin D in our skin does not penetrate our atmosphere. Vitamin D is also not abundant in our food system – double bummer! Mushrooms are a good option and, if you enjoy offal, grass-fed liver is another good option. You need to eat both of these foods frequently (i.e. several times per week each) to get your vitamin D needs met, though. For convenience and efficacy, this is one supplement I recommend to everyone who comes to see me for nutrition coaching. 

  5. Acts of kindness. This is a superfood for the soul: there is no single thing you can do to lift your mood that will work better than doing something nice for someone else. The COVID-19 pandemic has put a lot of distance between our loved ones and us. Take a moment and write down 3 things you can do for the people in your life that would bring a smile to their hearts. Write letters, make playlists, deliver soup…now go do them!  

Want to learn more? Join Jesse for a virtual class for a food-first approach to SAD prevention. Learn more here. 
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How to Care for Yourself when Caring for Yourself Feels Unimportant

7/2/2020

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Strawberry plants in flower
Every client I met with last week said (a variation) of the same thing: 

"With everything that's going on in the world right now, taking care of myself feels low priority."

I get it. Things are really wild right now. We're all holding A LOT: a pandemic, an uprising. We're faced with our mortality while examining our thoughts, behaviors and actions that are either a solution to the problem or part of the problem. We're talking about hard stuff every day while trapped in our homes. 

This is uncomfortable stuff. 

It's also the stuff that changes the course of humanity. So keep doing the good work...AND let's get you back to caring for yourself while you're doing it. 

I keep coming across the flight attendants' reminder from the beginning of every flight: put on your oxygen mask before trying to help someone else with theirs.

This idiom reminds us that before we can do any good for anyone else, we have to first do good for ourselves.  

If you read nothing else on this page, read this: You are no good to any movement or cause or community or human, animal, or environment if you are not good to yourself. 

How you care for yourself right now might differ from how you cared for yourself before the pandemic hit the US. It might differ from how you cared for yourself before George Floyd's murder. The self-care you need now might be totally and completely new to you. 

Have you taken the invitation to explore that and make a self-care plan that's just for you in this specific moment in your life? 

Shelly Tygielski (@mindfulskatergirl) has authored a number of articles on this topic for Mindful.org related specifically to self-care during the pandemic. She gives 3 good reasons why taking time to do some internal inventory and create a plan for caring for yourself is not just important but critical. I think these are especially important for those of us who are activated by recent events in Minneapolis and the movement they sparked in our nation and world. 

Here are Tygielski's reasons to make a personalized Self-Care Plan:

"Customizing a Self-Care Plan is a preventative measure." Ultimately, you can prevent all kinds of suffering by taking some time to reflect and strategize. You are going to be much better ally and activist when you are NOT in crisis mode. This movement needs you thinking, feeling and communicating clearly and effectively. That is not possible when you're exhausted, burned out and fueled by caffeine and sugar. 

"Having a plan takes the guesswork out of what to do and where to turn in moments of crisis." Don't wait until you're fried and inconsolable to decide how to care for yourself. Plan ahead, so you can respond instead of react to your circumstances and what you're experiencing in that moment.

"A Self-Care Plan helps you stay the course." You don't need to put your health goals aside to participate in protests and social activism. You don't need to put yourself last because this moment feels bigger than you. This moment is bigger than you...which means that we need you to be your absolute best right now! And we need whatever action you take to be sustainable - this is a marathon, not a sprint. 


Now that you know you need a Self-Care Plan, follow this link to get Tygielski's directions on creating one for yourself or download this worksheet I made adapting her recommendations to a visual form. 

Time for true confessions: this is hard for me too. My stress response is to freeze. I have felt frozen in anxiety and fear for months now.  I try to care for myself by eating regularly, exercising and meditating, but I'll go days - or even weeks - without any real success in that department. I'm more successful with my favorite dissociation techniques.

I followed Tygielski's prompts to come up with my own self-care plan. Here are some activities I'm working on in my Self-Care Plan right now: 

Eating at regular intervals. Instead of stress eating, I tend to neglect eating when I'm stressed. This leaves me feeling my worries even more acutely. Not helpful! I'm setting a calendar reminder to go off midday every weekday to remind me to take a lunch break and again mid-afternoon to offer a snack break.

Start the day with movement. Moving my body is my 2nd favorite medicine following closely behind my #1: eating delicious food. I tend to come up with all kinds of excuses about why I can't exercise as the day goes on, so I'm working this into a morning routine. Which brings me to...

Meditate daily. I am needing more grounding and focus right now. I am still sheltering in place, which means my life schedule is lacking the kind of structure I had before of going to the office and the gym, etc.  I am not good at maintaining a routine, so without structure to my day I feel untethered. Meditation helps me connect to myself in a very helpful way. I'm working on 20 minutes every morning after my morning movement. 



As you're working on your own Self-Care Plan, notice any resistance you have to giving to yourself. Here are some wise words from Rachel Elizabeth Cargle (@rachel.cargle) that helped me put this in perspective for myself this week: 

"...Meditate AND call your senator. 
Go to yoga AND go vote. 
Breathe deeply AND donate to causes that matter. 
Go on a retreat AND go support small businesses. 
Enjoy your essential oils AND check people on their bullshit in the community."
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The Science of Emotional Eating

4/19/2020

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Collection of foods, including crackers, figs, olives, carrots, blackberries and cheese
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
Eating has proven time and again to be an effective way to bring ourselves comfort in times of stress and grief. I don't know about you but stress and grief are two emotions ranking high on my emotional radar these days! Navigating the foreign landscape of living during a pandemic has turned the volume up on these human emotions, as well as worry, frustration, and boredom. 

Now, more than ever, we need effective coping skills. 

If emotional eating has become a regular way for you to cope, I invite you first to give yourself a break. Things are really hard right now. The future is uncertain. Caring for yourself, however you can, is a very important thing to do. 

Here's another reminder:  eating is not the ONLY way to give yourself comfort . 

Let's put a pin in that thought and dive into the science of emotional eating. I think understanding how your brain and body work helps to get some perspective and empower a different approach to self-care. 


The Science of Emotional Eating:
Food - and even the anticipation of eating it - triggers a release of dopamine from our brains. Dopamine is a powerful chemical signal (neurotransmitter) your brain produces that makes you feel good. A number of things trigger its release: falling in love, accomplishing a goal, eating sugar, gambling, smoking cigarettes, and taking cocaine or other drugs, among others. In bad times, dopamine is suppressed, making the desire for it even stronger and the effects of it more impactful.

For the record, I would consider living in a pandemic as being a "bad time," so this bit particularly applies to us right now. 

The effect of this "feel good" release in our brains is not equal from one experience to the next. If you ate the same amount of sugar one day after another, the amount of dopamine released would be less and less. This is how addictive behaviors develop: in search for more dopamine you need more sugar (or cigarettes, cocaine, etc.) every day to get the same hit of dopamine.

If you find yourself craving food and seeking out food for comfort, stimulation, or emotional release of another kind, take a deep breath. You're not doing anything wrong. You're actually satisfying a biochemical need. And it's ok to keep doing that. 

If you feel ready and able to change up that coping mechanism for another that will be equally effective, here are some strategies to prepare yourself to make that change:

  1. Eat at regular intervals to balance your blood sugar and help thwart cravings. Start by eating breakfast within an hour of waking, then plan a meal or snack every 3-4 hours until dinnertime. Stop eating after dinner. 

  2. Incorporate sources of protein and fat into your meals and snacks to further support this goal. Protein foods include eggs, meat, fish, and poultry; cheese and Greek yogurt, lentils, tofu and tempeh. Some good options for fats include avocados and guacamole, olives, nuts and seeds, nut and seed butters, coconut, and oils (coconut, olive, avocado, flax).

  3. Serve yourself a meal or snack on a plate or bowl, instead of eating out of a bag/box/container. This will help you choose more diligently how much you are going to eat. It will also force you to consider whether you are hungry for more before automatically eating more.

  4. Be present with your food; savor the experience of eating it. To do this, eat without distraction - no TV, Instagram or work. Mindful eating increases the connection between your stomach and your brain so you are better able to perceive feelings of hunger and satiety (fullness). Additionally, you will enjoy the food you eat with intention more than food you eat mindlessly, increasing your satisfaction with each bite. 

  5. Make a list of other ways you can soothe yourself. Reference this list when you're inclined to eat outside of your planned meals and snacks. Some ideas include taking a walk, calling a friend, coloring, doing yoga, taking deep breaths or meditating, taking a bath, journaling, laughing, and having a private dance party.

If and when you find yourself emotional eating, despite your best efforts to do otherwise, here's my closing thought: 

Let it go. 

We are living in a very trying time. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that you are expressing self-love the best way you know how. Find soft edges where you can stretch and learn and grow, where you can try some of the strategies above. Know that you will succeed and you will fail. That's learning! Learn with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness for the perfectly imperfect human that you are. 



For more on dopamine and emotional eating:
​What is Dopamine?
Dopamine is ______? 
Emotional Eating: Experts Reveal The Triggers And How To Control Them
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    Jesse Haas

    is a functional nutritionist and health coach with special interests in mental wellness and the connection between mind, body and spirit.

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