Authored by Lynn Salmon-Easter, Reiki Master

Taking an Epsom salt bath is an ancient practice that can be carried into contemporary times. Epsom salt is a naturally occurring mineral that was discovered in the 17th century bubbling up from an underground spring. The mineral received its name from the town of Epsom in Surrey, England where it was first discovered. Although this mineral is called Epsom salt, it is not actually salt at all, but rather a pure mineral compound of magnesium, sulfate and oxygen. Studies have shown magnesium and sulfate are both easily absorbed through our skin—making the associated health benefits of Epsom salt accessible to all.

Epsom salt has numerous health benefits:

• Eases stress and relaxes the body
• Calms the nervous system
• Relieves pain and muscle tension
• Helps muscles and nerves function properly
• Eliminates toxins from the body

Magnesium plays a number of positive roles in the body such as reducing inflammation, helping to produce serotonin (a mood-elevating chemical) which creates a sense of relaxation and calm, reduces irritability by lowering the effects of adrenaline, improves sleep and concentration and helps muscles and nerves to function properly. 

Sulfates help to improve the absorption of nutrients, flush toxins and heavy metals from the cells, ease muscle pain and eliminate harmful substances from the body. 

When you add Epsom salt to your bathwater, your skin being a highly porous membrane, absorbs the minerals and starts a process in your body called reverse osmosis. This process in turn pulls salt from your body along with harmful toxins. 

Why take an Epsom salt bath?

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) I often absorb other people’s energy. This means I absorb the good and bad energy alike. I used to be a total dabbler when it came to Epsom salt baths. I had heard all about the benefits these baths hold, but I was not able to make them a regular part of my routine. It was not until I stepped into my role as a Reiki master practitioner that I committed whole-heartedly to an Epsom salt bath ritual with regularity.

I have found the combination of Epsom salt + baking soda (added to my bath) proves to be a powerful concoction which clears my life of unwanted and negative energies. Baking soda is the ‘secret ingredient’ that cleans out lingering and negative energies from our aura and softens and smoothes our skin to boot. 

My weekly Epsom salt bath ritual is simple and continues to demonstrate I am able to bring balance, harmony and clarity back into my life on a regular basis. I am now a firm believer in Epsom salt baths and I continue to recommend weekly baths to each and every client that comes through my Reiki room.

Recommendations for an Epsom salt bath:

1. First things first. Clean your tub! Nothing ruins a relaxing bath like floating lint or hair (yuck!!).
2. Fill the tub with water. The temperature of the water can range from warm to hot depending on what you desire
3. Add 2-3 cups of Epsom salt + 1 cup baking soda to the bathwater 
4. Give the water a swirl to mix in the Epsom salt and baking soda
5. Soak for a minimum of 20 minutes. Stay longer if desired.    

It is best to refrain from using soaps or shampoos while soaking in an Epsom salt bath. These products may inhibit the effectiveness of the Epsom salt and baking soda. I usually soak for 20-30 minutes and then wash my hair and body right before I drain the tub.

Uh-oh, I don’t have a bathtub!

If you don’t have a bathtub in your home, no worries. You can always create an Epsom salt foot bath and experience similar results. It would be ideal to soak your entire body in a bath, but a foot bath can be a great solution when a bathtub is not available.

Recommendations for an Epsom salt foot bath:

1. 1. Obtain a small basin
2. Fill basin half full with warm or hot water depending on your desires
3. Add 1/2-1 cup Epsom salt + 1/4 cup baking soda to the water
4. Soak for a minimum of 15 minutes or longer if desired

Wellness for ALL

Epsom salt and baking soda are affordable and easily obtained at your local drugstore, grocery store or local health food store. When purchasing Epsom salt, be careful to read the package. Many brands have added fragrance which can irritate the skin or contaminate your bathwater with harmful chemicals.


References:
How to Take Epic Epsom Salt Baths
Epsom Salt Baths: An Old-School Way to Feel Better Fast?
Epsom Salt Uses & Benefits

Authored by ​Lynn Salmon-Easter, Reiki Master

Is your energy and motivation lacking lately? With the winter solstice right around the corner some of us may be feeling a bit lackluster. The winter solstice marks the shortest day of the year bringing us the least amount of daylight and the longest night in the calendar year. December 21st or 22nd usually marks the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere.
 
With shortened days and the decrease in sunlight in fall and winter, we can begin to feel a downward spiral in our moods. You may find yourself feeling apathetic, lethargic or you may feel more down and less social overall. Although feeling more gloomy during the colder and darker days of winter is quite common—and is often referred to as the ‘winter blues’—usually these feelings do not inhibit us from enjoying our everyday life.
 
Winter Blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder?
 
If your winter blues begin affecting the day-to-day aspects of your life such as work, relationships or your overall enjoyment—you may be facing a more serious form of depression known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). According to Mayo Clinic, SAD is a type of depression that relates to the change in seasons and is reoccurring each year for those affected. 
 
Typical signs and symptoms of SAD may include:

• Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Having low energy
• Having problems with sleeping
• Experiencing changes in your appetite or weight
• Feeling sluggish or agitated
• Having difficulty concentrating
• Feeling hopeless, worthless or guilty
• Having frequent thoughts of death or suicide
  
  

According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide. Depression is a mental disorder that affects more than 300 million people globally. Statistics show more women than men are generally affected by depression.
 
Whether you are contending with a mild case of the winter blues or the more intense seasonal affective disorder, symptoms often start out subtle at the beginning of the fall and become progressively more severe through the winter months with relief arriving along with the sunnier days of spring or summer.
 
Please know it is completely normal to have some days when you feel down or unmotivated, but if you begin to have loss of appetite, you are not able to get motivated to do activities that usually bring you joy and you are experiencing trouble with sleeping or oversleeping—it is advised you seek professional help. It is especially important to see a professional when your sleep and appetite patterns have shifted, you turn to alcohol for comfort and relaxation or you feel hopeless.
 
How can Reiki help bring relief to those suffering from the winter blues or depression?
 
For those of us feeling more gloomy than normal at this time of year, self-care and self-focus may help to bring our mental, physical and emotional selves back into alignment. A Reiki session can put us back in touch with ourselves and lead us back to relaxation and joy.
 
Here are several benefits of receiving a Reiki treatment:

• Helps to clear blocked energy in our body so our energy can flow freely again
• Replenishes and restores our vital life energy
• Rebalances and resets our nervous system
• Reduces anxiety and tension
• Assists in releasing old energy patterns and/or beliefs
• Helps us to feel lighter, more grounded and calmer
• Reconnects us with our heart and our true self or life purpose
• Promotes deep relaxation and healing

 
Although it is common that the winter blues and SAD usually melt away with the arrival of spring or summer, there is no need to suffer through the darkest days while waiting for the sunlight to reappear. Reiki is always right here, ever-present and willing to assist with relief, renewal and rejuvenation.
 
Learn more about what to expect from a Reiki session here. 
​
References:
How Reiki Can Help Reduce Stress & Anxiety
How Reiki Help You Beat The Winter Blues
Reiki For Depression
How Reiki Helps Depression
More Than Just the Winter Blues

Authored by Lynn Salmon-Easter, Reiki Master

Recently, I have taken a deep dive into learning about being a highly sensitive person (HSP). I am realizing more and more how rituals and routines stabilize and bring a sense of calm and peace to my life. Are you wondering if you might be a highly sensitive person? You can learn more here about being an HSP and see if this temperament resonates with you. The more familiar I become with the HSP temperament, the better I am able to identify my triggers and challenges during each season and time of the year. I believe it is important for us to be in touch with our triggers so we can appropriately plan self-care to counterbalance the challenges presented to our system.
 
We are quickly moving into autumn. For me, autumn is a time to regroup, find my routine and begin to commit more regularly to an internal and spiritual practice. Summer is a chaotic season for me, I relish in the regularity and routine autumn brings. I realized for the first time in my life how loud of a season summer is: construction, motorcycles, radios and air conditioners. I am relieved to be moving into the cooler and more contemplative feeling of autumn. The loud noise of summer in conjunction with the high heat temperatures overstimulate my system and make me realize why summer has not been a favorite season for me. I hope summer fills you up! If not, this is great information for you so you can begin to add in those increments of self-care to offset the challenges the season may present for you.

Lets take a minute to reflect on what may be working for you or what may be challenging:

• Which season revitalizes you and gives you the most energy?
• What time of year is the most challenging for you and why?
• When during your day or week do you feel the most challenged and stressed out?

As we begin to layer our rituals and routines into our life they create a healthy tapestry of habits and patterns. As we begin to live out of these daily patterns and routines we are stabilized by what is coming next rather than living out of our fear or the stress of not knowing. About five years ago my daughter started asking if we could get a family dog. At the time we owned an aged cat. Initially, I was not keen on the thought of getting a dog. We had been devoted cat owners up until that point. Each and every year, my daughter continued to inquire about getting a dog and I got more curious and willing to consider the request. I am an individual that craves routine, but I am not very good at implementing structure and routine in my life. I have always thrived and been most happy when external circumstances have created ritual and routine for me. Ultimately, my daughter’s wishes were granted and in April of 2017 we adopted a 6-year-old female greyhound and named her Harriet. This pup has been an equalizer for me and has helped me to rebalance my mental wellness. Each and every day since we have adopted Harriet, I more happily get out of bed, get dressed and walk her first thing in the morning. The ritual and routine of dog walks has been an amazing help for my mental state and attitude. I have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life. Exercise and being out in nature help me to regulate my challenged mental states. The regularity of walking my dog 3-4 times a day has its challenges in a busy modern life, but I have found the routine and the payoff to far outweigh the challenges.
 
So, what if you don’t own a dog or you do not want to become a dog owner. Don’t worry. You do not need to adopt a dog to turn your life around. Begin building in your 3-5 minute rituals one at at time and then begin stacking and layering these rituals into a routine that feels restful and restorative for you. If something is not resonating or working, change it. Stay curious to help combat overwhelm and come back to basics.
 
As you traverse the upcoming months, please keep the basics in mind and draw upon balance by settling into some nourishing and supportive routines. This will help you to incrementally stabilize and reset your nervous system and moods.

Here are some suggestions of balance and equilibrium I have found to work well for myself and my family:

• Take time to decompress
• Allow time to adjust to change
• Focus on meaningful relationships
• Find healthy ways to resolve conflict
• Leave enough time to accomplish your tasks (or take tasks off your list)
• Arrive to your destinations early
• Get plenty of sleep
• Stay hydrated
• Eat healthy meals made with real food
• Go caffeine free
• Create a nurturing space for yourself in your home
• Use low lighting to soothe
• Venture out into nature and surround yourself with beauty of all kinds 

​
References
The Psychology of Daily Routine by Brianna West

Authored by Dr. Sara Jean Barrett

We have trillions of microorganisms (bacteria, viri, parasites) living in our intestinal tract. This is called the microbiome or gut microbiota. Your microbiome starts to develop the moment you are born and complete colonization occurs within the first three years of life. Factors such as mode of delivery, antibiotic exposure, and feeding patterns determine the health of your particular microbiome. The microbiome is constantly in flux the rest of our lives. What we are exposed to, how we eat, our stress levels and more all influence our microbiome. For example, exposure to furry pets in infancy and young childhood reduces the risk of atopy (allergies, eczema and asthma) and being overweight by increasing levels of certain organisms. It is even more beneficial if you grow up on a farm! Starting at birth, our microbiome helps train the developing immune system. The commensal (good) microbes can directly attack the disease causing microbes signaling to the human immune system when to launch an attack. This training also includes teaching the immune system to ignore harmless stimuli (such as pollen or even self tissue). Without this critical training we are more at risk for conditions such as autoimmune disease and allergies. When our gut microbiome is in a stable, harmonious place this is called ‘symbiotic’. When our microbiome is unstable or out of balance it is called ‘dysbiotic’. We are finding that a dysbiotic flora or dysbiosis is a factor in many conditions. Our microbiome plays a significant role in many aspects of our health ranging from the obvious gastrointestinal conditions such as IBS, constipation, diarrhea, and inflammatory bowel disease to the less obvious such as psychological resilience, mental health, autoimmune disease, allergies and much more.
 
We know what we eat significantly impacts the health of our bodies and it also significantly impacts our microbiome. For example, one study found that switching from a low fat, plant polysaccharide rich diet to a high fat, high sugar (standard American diet) shifted the entire microbiome in one day. One day! The majority of our microbiome lives in our large intestine and they feed off of the food we eat. At the end of this article I list out some ways to feed your beneficial flora.
 
Last year a comprehensive review of recent research in the microbiome-gut-brain axis revealed that the vagus nerve plays an important role in the communication between the gut and brain. The exciting part is that the information is bidirectional. That’s right, your ‘gut instinct’ is now backed by science. They have even gone as far as looking at the microbiota of people who stay calm during stressful events and found they share common microbiome traits. So there might be a correlation between resilience and your microbiome. Are you getting a sense of just how important the microbiome is to your health? Data published in March of this year shows that social stressors can change the microbiome in hamsters and that the bacteria present in the GI tract prior to social interactions predicted outcomes of those interactions. The hamsters that ‘won’ in the social interactions had similar microbiomes. Pretty incredible.
 
What do we do with all of this information? Don’t run out and spend a lot of money on one of these new stool tests that will tell you all about your microbiome. They are interesting but not very clinically useful, yet. I am excited about the possibilities for medicine as we continue to learn more. Predicting health based on your microbiome and altering it to improve your health is very exciting. For now, consider how your eating habits and vagal nerve health can positively influence your microbiome.
 
Take home tips:
 
As mentioned above the vagus nerve is an important connection between the gut microbiome and the brain. Healthy vagal tone is indicated by a slight increase in heart rate when you inhale and a slight decrease in heart rate when you exhale. You can increase your vagal tone with any of the following activities:

• Deep diaphragmatic breathing with a slightly longer exhale
• Loving kindness meditation
• Singing, especially singling loudly enough to us the muscles in the back of your throat.
• Gargling at least once daily, loudly to use the muscles in the back of your throat.
• Laughter- the deep belly shaking eye watering laughter.

 
You can keep your microbiome healthy by:

• Consuming fiber daily from a variety of sources. It is an important food source for your microbiome. Most patients in my practice are not consuming enough fiber in their diets. I recommend around 30-35g daily on average but that changes depending on the individual.
• Minimizing processed and high sugar foods in your diet.
• Consuming fermented foods
• Avoiding excessive use of antibiotics.

 
Resources:
Yang, Irene, Elizabeth J. Corwin, Patricia A. Brennan, Sheila Jordan, Jordan R. Murphy, and Anne Dunlop. “The Infant Microbiome: Implications for Infant Health and Neurocognitive Development.” Nursing Research 65, no. 1 (2016): 76–88.
Tun, Hein M., Theodore Konya, Tim K. Takaro, Jeffrey R. Brook, Radha Chari, Catherine J. Field, David S. Guttman, et al. “Exposure to Household Furry Pets Influences the Gut Microbiota of Infants at 3–4 Months Following Various Birth Scenarios.” Microbiome 5, no. 1 (April 6, 2017): 40.
Turnbaugh, Peter J., Vanessa K. Ridaura, Jeremiah J. Faith, Federico E. Rey, Rob Knight, and Jeffrey I. Gordon. “The Effect of Diet on the Human Gut Microbiome: A Metagenomic Analysis in Humanized Gnotobiotic Mice.” Science Translational Medicine 1, no. 6 (November 11, 2009): 6ra14.
Lima-Ojeda, Juan M., Rainer Rupprecht, and Thomas C. Baghai. “‘I Am I and My Bacterial Circumstances’: Linking Gut Microbiome, Neurodevelopment, and Depression.” Frontiers in Psychiatry 8 (2017).
Georgia State University. "Social stress leads to changes in gut bacteria." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 8 March 2018.

Authored by Amber Hanson, LN

Have you ever had that experience of pulling into your garage after work and realizing you have no idea how you got there?  It is kind of like your brain is on autopilot. This is an example of habit in action. When you do the same thing day after day your brain doesn’t need to think as much about doing, it just does. In the case of driving it is a little scary to check-out like that but for something like going on a run when you get up in the morning or taking a few deep breathes when you start to feel stressed out, habit is great.

Contrast that with motivation. Motivation can be powerful as well – it is the desire to do something. I like to think of it as the spark. The thing with motivation is that for most people it is fleeting. Take, for example, reading an article about someone completing their first half marathon. The article is inspiring, it makes you want to run a half marathon.  You decide tomorrow morning you will get up early and go for a run. Fast forward to the next morning when your alarm is going off an hour earlier than usual – are you still feeling motivated?  For some the answer is yes, they hop out of bed and go for a run. For many of us the answer is no, hitting the snooze button is much more appealing in the moment.

Back to the driving example, you didn’t always work at the same place or live in the same house, so your brain needed to learn the driving route before it could be habit. It is the consistent repeating of a behavior - over and over and over again - that turns it into habit. The good news? You can teach yourself new habits!  The not so good news, it is going to take some practice. But the reward is that new behaviors switch from fleeting motivation to autopilot habits.

The formation of a habit always starts with a cue (like leaving work), followed by a response (driving home), and a reward (seeing your family). Responding to a cue in the same way over and over creates a habit.  Do you remember when you first started at your new job location?  You had to think about which streets to take and when to turn, pay attention to the locations of traffic signals and signs, and think about not driving to your old job location. Maybe you even turned the radio off the first time you drove the route so your brain could concentrate with less distractions because it was working hard to figure out this new thing. That experience of first driving to a new job is an example of building or changing a habit.

To form a new healthy habit, you need to practice your response to a cue repeatedly until it becomes automatic. To break an unhealthy habit, you need to become aware of your cues so you can stop the automatic behavior that follows. To develop a habit like running in the morning the cue of the alarm clock needs to elicit the response of getting out of bed and changing into running clothes. You need to break the response of hitting the snooze button. The reward for running might be more energy and a sense of accomplishment. Hitting the snooze button on the other hand might feel good in the moment but the reward is short lived.

Thankfully a number of people have studied habit and habit changes and pulled together some tips to help the rest of us. A few of my favorite come from Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before, a book full of tips on breaking and establishing habits. Here are a few strategies to try when changing a habit with examples.  

1. Monitoring. This might look like writing what you eat in a food diary or tracking the miles you run during your workout. Monitoring helps you pay attention to things you want to change, keeping it top of mind. A monitoring tool like a food diary can also help you discover cues to certain behaviors.
   
   
2. Accountability. This could be making a workout date with a friend or scheduling an appointment with a licensed nutritionist to improve your diet. Having an appointment makes it harder to make excuses not to do something.  And when working with a professional, if you are struggling with change, they can help you break the change down into more manageable pieces and help you work through what is blocking your progress.
   
   
3. Build a Foundation. This is the idea that if you have some basics in place it is easier to cultivate new healthy behaviors. To build a strong foundation, I often encourage clients to start a morning routine.  It can be as easy as making the bed every morning, drinking a glass of water before having coffee, or stretching for 5 minutes after getting out of bed. Consistently doing these smaller behaviors proves to yourself you can establish a habit. And doing them first thing in the morning gives that sense of accomplishment for the whole day which can lead to additional healthy choices throughout the day.
   
   

These are just a couple of many strategies that can be used to change the spark of motivation into a sustainable habit. Not every strategy works for every person so try out a few different options and see what works for you and, of course, if you need additional accountability and support schedule an appointment!

Authored by Bri Dunbar, LAMFT

 
I often hear from my clients that they are struggling with an uncomfortable feeling, something like deep grief or immense anger. They describe experiences of suffering and often express a desire to “make it go away”. Their hope is that therapy will end their experience of the difficult feeling, that there will be easy shifts or magic pills that will allow them to opt out of feeling the feeling.
 
They have tried hiding from the feeling through ignoring it or avoiding it. They have tried running from the feeling through means of escapism or staying overly busy. They have tried fighting the feeling by pushing it out and forcing it away. But it comes back, or stubbornly, never really leaves. This feeling is here to stay and it needs to be felt.
 
In these circumstances, I encourage my clients to move INTO the feeling. To get curious about its nature, to be willing to consider its information and to give it time to do its necessary work.
 
There is a Rumi poem that I love to share with these clients in order to introduce an alternative perspective on uncomfortable and difficult feelings.
 
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 
So, what does it mean to sit with an uncomfortable feeling? To welcome it in?
 
If you have an established meditation practice or feel drawn to this method, try that. Sit still. Be quiet. Soften the mind. Notice what you carry.
 
But it also doesn’t need to be quite so formal. It would be worth trying a silent walk, a warm bath, or sitting alone in front of a view.
 
Wherever you settle, you could try the instructions below for sitting with the uncomfortable feelings that you carry. Not with an intention to “fix” them, or rid yourself of them, but instead, to learn from them and to allow yourself an opportunity to REALLY feel them.

• Find a space that feels safe and comforting.
• Notice the feeling (grief, frustration, jealousy...) that has proven uncomfortable to carry.
• See if you can find a location in the body where this feeling resides. Take your time. An internal scan from head to toe might help this process.
• Once you have identified a location where you hold this feeling, rest your palms there to draw awareness to this space and your attention to this feeling.
• Now, get curious. Does this feeling have a name? How about a color? Can you feel its texture? Is there any other sensory input you can take in? Is is hot? Is it sharp? Is it damp?
• Set aside judgment of how you want it to be or not be. Just notice it as it is.
• Now lean into it. Can you immerse yourself in it? Can you really free yourself to feel?
• When you’re ready, offer yourself comfort and compassion. Express a gratitude for this feeling and the work it is doing in you.
• Slowly and gently draw your awareness back to your surroundings. Take a few deep breaths. Transition back into your day.
• Circle back to this practice whenever you notice yourself avoiding feeling the feeling.

 
This is what it is to welcome a feeling and to treat it like an honored guest. And in doing so, you honor yourself, your whole self, and your experience of this situation.

Authored by Dr. Q

Authored by Dr. Anna

Question: How many times have you played out some version of the cycle below?

This is so real. Right down to the Cheetos.

Many of us play out some version of this cycle most of our adult lives. And let’s face it: this approach has a short shelf life. We get the temporary and hopeful high of “I’m doing something about this!!” followed by the swift slap of disappointment when it turns out maybe it wasn’t realistic to think we could wake up to work out everyday at 5:45 AM when we haven’t A) worked out or B) gotten up before 8am in literally months.

Insert self-berating comments and disparagement here that inches us towards the “F it’s” where we abandon the initiative all together and submit to our Cheeto eating ways before cycling back to “the decision” to get it together...lather, rinse, repeat.

My job is to help people be realistic and successful in their change attempts and yet I find myself over and over again getting caught in the enticing quick fix fantasy of a self finally improved. And through trial, error, and repetition I’ve been able to recognize this delusion more quickly and steer myself towards an approach that actually helps me to make changes that stick. This is where I turn my head manually away from self-improvement that plays itself out in a ideal perfectionism land, toward self-acceptance and self-compassion in the face of the realities, messiness, and resistance encountered by all of us in the process of changing anything.

So what does this mean? It means taking your goal list and cutting it in half. It means being realistic in your expectations of what you can do. It means baby steps that, when made, you applaud with fervor. It means offering self-compassion and validation when you slip. It means holding ourselves in high regard even when we only make it to day 2 of Whole 30 (wow the examples just flow, not mine of course). It means surrendering - not to our bad habits but to our humanness and the fundamental truth that basically I’m good enough. Could I get a little better? Yes. Am I going to be a person who (insert complete opposite personality and traits here)? Likely not.

I use the “good coach” metaphor a lot with my clients. When I think of some of my best coaches I recall that they pushed me hard but within reason of what I was capable of based upon my current skill level at the time. I knew they believed in me and kept an eye on and belief in my full potential. Perhaps most importantly, their support and encouragement wouldn’t waiver when I messed up. We need this inside of us when we try to grow and change and yet many of us have a brutal internal critic that pounces on us the minute we even try, the minute we mess up, the minute we don’t sustain for as long as planned. It makes it super duper hard to take the risk to change when under such intense critical scrutiny.

But I don’t want to get complacent. I want to keep improving myself you say. You can. The fact of the matter is that a foundational bed of self-acceptance creates the conditions in which these changes, hopes and dreams are most likely to come to fruition and take. Furthermore, knowing that we have our own self support no matter what creates a safe emotional environment to risk in the first place.

6 Things You Can Do To Approach Change Differently:

1) Set Yourself Up To Win - Just like asking a 2nd grader to read high school material would be a set up for failure- asking ourselves to perform, complete, achieve, sustain something that is several steps ahead of where we are currently just sets us up for failure. For most of us, change happens one teeny tiny inconsequential step at a time directly in front of where we currently are.

2) Enter Radical Self Acceptance - The thing is. Sometimes it’s really hard to accept where we currently are. We don’t want to look at our budget or our weight or our job or our social life because it’s loaded with regret, or shame, or loss. Radical Acceptance is a concept that I come back to again and again as it does not mean we like something it just asked that we accept it radically (it has to be radical because it’s so challenging to do) so that we can move forward. Try something. Think about something you are really struggling with right now. Bring this to mind and place your open palms on your lap facing the sky. This gesture symbolizes that you are open to the reality of your present situation (you may still hate it so hard) but you can nonetheless be open..and see if your chest doesn’t open a little. If a bit of lightness enters. Now repeat this a million times as you stay with yourself each baby-step of the way.

3) Turn Your Actual Head - Okay maybe not actually. But imagine a forked road ahead of you. One is the typical path of self-improvement the other is self-acceptance. Actively choose to accept yourself while still holding your best interest and goals in mind. Keep re-directing yourself back to that path over and over and over again.

4) Be Realistic About the Change Process - On average people have a messy and repetitive route through the stages of change. It takes time and circling through. It’s not a light switch were we just decide and it happens. It’s a process- and not a linear one. That’s how it is for all of us. Oh, and the amount of time you think you should be able to accomplish or achieve x,y,z--double it--at minimum.

5) Expect Resistance - Resistance to change is natural, expect it, embrace it, work with it. Remember that cornstarchy gak we made in 3rd grade science? How when you applied force it was hard and unmoveable yet when you’d relax your hand it would melt through your fingers? Treat resistance like gak in your own change process. Loosen your grip and let it come and go. The harder you fight and force the more likely it will stay stubbornly unmoved.

6) Connection Helps - Whether you are trying to change a habit or heal a long-standing wound. Don’t go it alone. Gather your supports and accountability buddies to help you through whatever you are facing. This could be a best friend, a therapist, a journal, an on-line forum.

Authored by Bri Dunbar, LAMFT 

I hear a lot of talk about the self-care practice of setting boundaries. I also hear a lot of misunderstandings about how to skillfully set boundaries in ways that effectively serve a purpose and are respected by those around us.
 
Unfortunately, as a society, we seem to have misappropriated the idea of boundary setting as a means for keeping difficult people at arms length or as a method of avoiding the work of repairing a complicated relationship. This process lacks intentionality and discernment. Sometimes “boundary setting” can even be applied reactively and vengefully to punish someone who has enacted a perceived injustice upon us.
 
So, how can the narrative of boundary setting be shifted? How can we think of boundaries differently in order to use them effectively? How can we apply and communicate our boundaries in a way that grows from true self-care practices?
 
For me, the critical shift is the idea that the setting of a boundary has more to do with protecting something INSIDE the boundary lines and is less focused on what we aim to keep outside. Let’s apply an analogy.
 
Picture a beautiful backyard oasis. The greenery is lush. The noise level is low. The sunshine is warm. You have tended to this space with great care and are proud of what you have created. This represents your wellbeing, your healthy inner life, the bounty of your good self-care practices.
 
Now, picture the space outside of your backyard. A dirty alley filled with trash. Loud and obnoxious neighbors. An overgrown and weed filled eye sore. This represents whatever (or whomever) in your life feels life a threat to your wellbeing.
 
Imagine there is a tall cedar fence that separates your beautiful and well-tended space from the ones that surround you. The fence is solid and strong, but pleasant to look at. It smells good and enriches the space you’ve created. This represents your boundary. The fence exists whether you view it from inside your yard or outside. And serves the same simple purpose; to delineate between the two environments. But, with a focus on what you value and what you want to protect, as opposed to what you want to keep out, you shift the tone of boundary setting. Step INSIDE your yard and view the fence from that perspective to understand how it serves you best. Yes, the fence does block your space from the unpleasant environment beyond the fence, but that’s not its primary purpose. Its primary purpose is to allow you to better enjoy what you have built and grown INSIDE your own yard.
 
This visualization gives you a chance to filter your boundaries through the lens of healthy habits and relationship dynamics. It comes from a place of true self-care and self-love. This removes reactive responses from the process of boundary setting, and extracts any unhealthy intention to act punitively in putting up a boundary in your life. That new warmth radiates when expressing these boundaries to others in your life and the line drawn may be better understood, better received, and better respected.  
 
This is, in my opinion, the healthiest application of boundaries. To protect something that you value, something that you have worked hard to nurture. Not, solely, to keep something toxic out
 
What boundaries have you set recently, does anything change when you apply this analogy? Is there new awareness about why this boundary would be beneficial? Is there new language to communicate that to any relevant parties?
 
Also, just a reminder, fences have gates! Part of the practice of setting a boundary may also be to leave a bit of intentional flexibility and permeability to let others in as you see fit when circumstances change.
 
Happy boundary setting! :)

Authored by Erica Wallace Moore

It's that time of year again. The holiday season is right around the corner. While this season jingles with activity, for some of us, this time of year can be physically, mentally, and emotionally overwhelming.

Let's face it, you're down to the last push before the end of the year. A year that has already challenged and matured you. And for the next two months you may be spending a lot of time with friends and family. You may be at tables weighed down by meat, mashed potatoes and pies. You might even host a dinner or two. You will eat a lot. And you will shop. You'll spend money. Your boss or your significant other might expect your presence at a holiday party. You've got a tree to put up and decorate, or you've got plane tickets for a week's worth of travel.

That's a lot of doing.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love this time of year. 

The annual ritual of connecting with family is so deeply set in my Root Chakra going all the way back to my childhood. But I too have my moments. Times when I need a break from the insanity of the holidays. 

Staying grounded and protecting your energy can seem impossible at this time of year, but I promise it's a worthwhile skill to practice cultivating. 

If you're looking for ways to stay perfect through the holidays, this ain't it. But what you will find here are several practical ways to stay present and sane through the holiday season:

1. Set Boundaries
I cannot stress how important this practice is. You might experience the pressure of being pulled in many directions, decisions, as well as the pressure to say yes to everything. If an activity feels like too much than it's worth, ask yourself whether or not it's really worth doing. Additionally, setting boundaries for your budget and your meals can help you remain present as you step toward the new year.

2. Set Aside Alone or Down Time
After any considerable amount of doing, your body needs moments to be. For all the doing that the holidays requires, create intentional space for yourself to just be. This also includes rest and indulging in your self care. Give yourself a gift.

3. Set a Meaning
Have you ever had a holiday when you ask yourself: "Why am I doing all this stuff? What does it even mean?" Sometimes it's so easy to go through the motions of expectations that we lose meaning. Decide what the holiday season means to you and honor it. Does the season mean family, thankfulness, caring? Or perhaps it reminds you of loss. Don't ignore the emotional significance of the season. Maybe you can give to a cause or charity, volunteer, or create a new ritual. Write a letter or light a candle to a loved one. 

4. Set Up a Holiday Journal
This one is simple: whatever frustrations arise for you, write them out. You may find yourself more aware of your holiday triggers and be able to be more gentle with yourself.

5. Set Time for Creativity
Part of the holiday frustration for me is the amount of consumerism that we all get invited to partake in. I find it comforting as a reminder that though my children want gifts from the toy store, I'm still at my core a co-creator of the universe. Whatever your creative gifts are (baking, cooking, sewing, crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing, singing, acting, dancing, photography, etc), throw yourself into your creativity. 

6. Set Goals for the New Year
Setting a goal for the new year helps to keep you present and grounded because you can be reminded that the holidays are temporary and you still have this big, great life to live. And you get to pause, reflect and ritualize your presence and your new beginnings into the new year.

​If you're really looking for a way to ground yourself, or if you are new to the idea of what it means to be grounded, I would absolutely love to work with you! Or perhaps you are looking forward to the new year and you desire new goals and new intentions in which case, I would also love to be able to work with you! 

Authored by Tara McCoy, CHC

My red flag moment was when I found myself scrolling through my iPhone on my meditation pillow. In a laughable yet not uncommon moment my phone worship became undeniable. Through this daily meditation practice, I was committing to training my attention each morning. Yet I also had the habit of checking my phone immediately after my sit, often before I had even left my cushion. As proud as I was of my dedication to my morning practice, it became clear that the remainder of my days often felt like one big training in the art of distraction.

I became interested in attention largely because of the personal consequences I’ve noticed as it’s diminished. With the ubiquity of smartphones and social apps, I’ve noticed my attention span waning (and let’s be honest--mine wasn’t top notch to begin with). A few examples include difficulty finishing books, feeling the need to multitask during movies, and most disturbingly, decreased tolerance for “slow talkers” and lulls in conversation. When you’re used to the predictable and always entertaining input from a device the mysterious, often meandering process of human connection can feel too risky, time-consuming and even boring. Anyone who’s ever attempted a meaningful conversation with someone more interested in their instagram feed knows how damaging this distraction can be.

My movement teacher Katy Bowman teaches that one hour of exercise each day doesn’t offset 23 hours of being sedentary. We are evolved to move with frequency throughout the day and this movement frequency is arguably more important to health than one intense bout of physical activity. I wanted to apply this logic to my meditation practice. A brief attention training in the morning is wonderful, but couldn’t possibly be offsetting the massive splintering of my attention the rest of the day. Perhaps some of my efforts would be better spent reorganizing my 23 1/2 hours to be less of a worship of distraction, which means seriously examining my current relationship with technology.

If our attention is our most valuable and increasingly rare resource, it makes sense to be intentional about how we interact with the devices that strip it of its acuity. And the blame cannot be entirely on those of us who find ourselves unable to control our digital addictions. Some of the brightest minds at the most prestigious companies (Facebook ahem) use the most effective behavioral strategies to keep you clicking, scrolling and liking. Yet, rejecting technology completely is a luxury that many of us cannot afford.These tools can enhance the ability to pursue things like entrepreneurship, education and social connection. In our increasingly tech-enabled world, resistance can seem futile. Yet going with the flow and keeping up with societal norms does not ensure a healthful relationship with our gadgets. Like many other health behaviors, it seems you must deviate outside the cultural norm to protect your health and happiness.

So, in my quest to confront my tech-addiction I’ve been experimenting with ways to still engage with technology but set stronger boundaries that prioritize what’s actually important in my life---things like quality of attention, presence and relationships. I honestly had low expectations for my compliance with this new strategy but it’s been surprisingly easy once I started feeling the benefits. Here are some things I’ve been experimenting with:

• Set rules about when I turn my phone on and off each day. I do a digital sunset at the same time each night and don’t turn my phone on in the morning until after my meditation practice. This has drastically improved the quality of my sleep and increased the consistency of my meditation practice. This is coming from someone who used to look at my phone first thing after waking up! Change is possible!
• Beware of the iPhone effect. Research has shown that keeping your mobile device in sight during a conversation significantly lowers empathy level and the quality of conversation. Don’t leave your phone out if you’re talking to someone. This is an easy switch that can significantly improve your relationships.
• Take your most addictive social apps off your phone--- it’s amazing how boring your phone quickly becomes. Or as a compromise try keeping those apps on the last page of your iPhone so you have to scroll for a bit to open it. This gives your slow brain and willpower some time to kick in and decide against opening the sites. I took Facebook and Instagram off my phone. I’m not ready to quit Instagram all together and can’t easily post via my laptop so I now allow myself to re-download the app one day a week if I want to make a post. A bit clunky but worth the sense of freedom I’ve felt.
• Have phone free blocks where you leave your phone at home or hide your device for periods of time.
• Check out these additional resources for further inspiration and ideas on living a less distracted and deeper life. The books Deep Work by Cal Newport and The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. A couple quick videos--- Kelly McGonigal’s advice for breaking tech addiction (2 min video) and  Brian Johnson on the digital sunset . Also, Dallas Hartwig's More Social, Less Media Movement. 

Surprisingly quickly my phone has lost its allure. You can only check for a text or email so many times before it gets boring. I knew that something had shifted when I left my phone at home and I didn’t notice for a couple hours. A month ago that would have been unthinkable. The quality of my relationships has increased and my attention feels stronger. Slowly my tolerance for boredom and silent moments has improved. I even took a nap the other day as I couldn’t turn to Instagram scrolling as my go-to way to relax. The only drawback I’ve noticed so far is the pain of looking around, finally ready to connect, only to notice how distracted most people are.

Authored by Bri Dunbar, MA LAMFT RYT200

Authored by Katie Oberton, LicSW

Several years ago when my grandpa died, I was on the phone with my sister when she said “I must not be that sad, I haven’t cried yet.” This statement has stayed with me for years because it gives so much light into how we view our feelings and emotions and how we let others view them. The fact that my sister felt like she was not sad or grieving because she was not shedding tears shows how much weight we put on feelings and emotions especially visible ones like tears. As a society we have set up expectations for people about how we should feel and act in certain situations. Along with these ideas, we have also created ideas that certain feelings or emotions are bad. These expectations and ideas do not create a safe space for us to share or express our feelings. Instead they may make us feel bad for feeling what we feel, and they may make people hide and bury their emotions by not sharing them.

When we don’t acknowledge our feelings or if we bury them, we don’t allow ourselves the space to fully feel. Recently, I was having a conversation with my husband about our son, and I said something during that conversation that right away made me feel guilty. Yuck! That does not always feel great. Instead of getting mad at myself for feeling guilty, I said to my husband “right when I said that I immediately felt guilt.” Naming it helped. Not pushing it away helped. Working to try and understand where the guilt came from helped. I didn’t push it away and try to bury it. I accepted the feeling for what it was, and I felt it. Yes, it didn’t feel that awesome, but accepting it allowed me to move on from it by processing it and then it didn’t linger with me the rest of the night.
 
As you may know we often don’t have a lot of control over our initial reaction to a situation. We may cry, laugh, or perhaps remain neutral. What we do have control over is how we allow ourselves to accept our feelings. Did you get mad? Did you feel guilty? Were you super happy? No matter what the feeling, allow yourself to feel that feeling. Learn where it is comes from.

I believe we must allow ourselves the chance to truly feel our emotions and accept them for what they are before we can move on. Accepting something is happening is the first step to action. If we do not accept that we have a certain feeling, we stand no chance in understanding its impact or gaining insight into why a situation evoked that specific emotion. Accepting our feelings for what they are allows us a chance to learn and to grow as people and with others.
 
In all honestly, this is way easier said than done, right? Since most of us have been taught to feel a certain way at certain times, and to hide emotions at certain times, it is not an easy switch to change up something we have been doing for most of our lives. However, we have to start somewhere, so my challenge to you is the next time you find yourself with a big feeling that might not feel that great, notice it, acknowledge it, accept it. See how this process makes you feel, and how it affects the situation and your emotions.

​Authored by Tara McCoy, CHC

If there were such a thing as a panacea in the wellness world, I’d place my bet on optimizing circadian rhythms by getting appropriate exposure to light and dark. In ancient forms of medicine (such as Greco-Roman Medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine), there was a heavy emphasis on Nature as healer and physicians recommended aligning with nature as a disease cure. Within modern biomedicine, extolling the healing powers of nature has largely fallen out of fashion. But recently, this theme is beginning to crop up again in medical literature. This isn’t some outdated, sentimental notion after all, but rather an entire field of science known as chronobiology. Chronobiology is a branch of biology that studies how our body's natural cycles—mental, physical and emotional—are affected by solar and lunar rhythms. Our physiology has evolved to function optimally when aligned with natural rhythms of light-dark. Disrupted circadian rhythms are being correlated with a myriad of illnesses such as mood disorders, metabolic issues, cardiovascular disease, obesity, cancer, and menstrual disruptions. And unfortunately, this doesn’t appear to be a part of our physiology we can override or “hack”. A lack of adequate bright light during the day or excessive exposure to light at night both have consequences. In an era when it’s increasingly more tempting to live out of sync with light-dark cycles, aligning with the rhythms of nature may be one of our most potent forms of preventive medicine.

SO, what exactly disrupts our “inner clocks”? Our circadian clock is primarily set by exposure to light and dark. For my science lovers out there, let me explain how this works physiologically. In our brains, the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN) keeps track of light-dark signals from the optic nerve and triggers hormonal and behavioral outputs accordingly. The reduction of light at night is detected by our SCN and triggers the release of melatonin from our pineal glands, which causes sleepiness.
​
For most of our evolutionary history, as the sun went down we were no longer exposed to bright light (more specifically light in the blue spectrum) so the current problem lies in an evolutionary mismatch from what our bodies have evolved to expect versus recent technological developments. With the invention of the lightbulb in 1879 and the technological revolution, we have unprecedented inputs of light at night ( or LAN, as it is called in the scientific literature) that lead to circadian disruption. The use of artificial light and devices after dark disrupts the environmental cue and our levels of melatonin are abnormally suppressed which reduces both the quality of sleep and the ability to fall asleep. This is problematic for reasons beyond melatonin’s impact on sleep quality. It is less commonly known that beyond its influence on sleep, melatonin is also an incredibly potent anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, immunomodulating and oncostatic hormone. It’s currently being widely researched because of its potential anti-cancer effects. So basically, every hour after dark that you are exposing yourself to blue light, you’re decreasing the levels of this powerfully health-promoting hormone you’re exposed to. Or in simpler terms, as far as our physiology is concerned, exposure to adequate darkness each day is a form of vital medicine. The official recommendation is maintaining a window of 9-10 hours of darkness each 24-hour cycle. For most of us this would mean an hour or two before bed we’d stop looking at screens (T.V., computers), devices (phones, iPads) AND dim the lights or use lights in the red spectrum.

Secondary inputs that influence our circadian clock are eating patterns, exercise, social inputs, and levels of stress hormones such as cortisol. The most powerful secondary input is meal timing or more precisely, cycles of feeding and fasting. For optimal health, our meal timings would correspond with light/dark cycles (a.k.a no late night eating). Limiting feeding to daytime hours and increasing periods of fasting at night does the body good. This doesn’t need to be extreme. See my recommendations below for the details.


HOW TO RESET YOUR CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS FOR OPTIMAL HEALTH:

1. Expose yourself to natural light first thing in the morning. Circadian alignment starts as soon as you wake up. Exposure to natural light, ideally in the morning before 10:30 am, aligns your circadian rhythm and has been proven to result in better sleep at night. The best way to do this is to get outside in the morning, without sunglasses, for at least 10 minutes (cloudy days included). At the very least, open the shades and let natural light into your living space. If it is not possible to get outside, considering using a light box of at least 10,000 lux.
2. Exercise in the morning. By getting some gentle movement in the morning, even 5-10 minutes counts, you optimize your circadian rhythm by appropriately setting your cortisol curve. Exercise helps ensure a spike of cortisol in the morning which leads to lower levels at night, which improves sleep quality and melatonin levels.
3. Avoid screens AT LEAST 1 hour before bed. Again, think of darkness as medicine. Darkness leads to the release of melatonin and melatonin increases sleep quality and reduces chronic inflammation. The most powerful way to ensure optimal levels of melatonin is to set a digital sunset each night. This means no longer looking at your phone, screens, Kindle, etc. after a certain time each night. As a compromise, you can download f.lux on your computer and use Nightshift (if you have an iPhone 5 or higher) which limits the blue light emitted from your computer and phone. Another option is wearing really dorky blue light blocking orange sunglasses at night.
4. Make sure your bedroom is completely dark. Using an eye mask is a great start but it been discovered that your skin has photoreceptors which detect light and can disrupt your melatonin levels, so it's important that your room is completely dark. Invest in blackout curtains and get all devices out of the bedroom. For extra insurance, consider getting a nightlight in the red spectrum for your bathroom and hallway so you don’t have to turn on the blue-light emitting overhead light if you wake up in the middle of the night.
5. Stop eating or drinking alcohol at least 3 hours before bedtime. Late night alcohol or eating disrupt sleep architecture. A lot of great functional medicine practitioners recommend a 12-hour window between dinner and breakfast, or simply stopping eating 3 hours before bedtime. Alcohol may help you fall asleep but it disrupts sleep quality and depth so it is best avoided near bedtime.
6. Ritual and consistency are key. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time each day entrains your circadian clock. Ideally, go to bed between 10-11p and wake up around 7 am.  Create sleep rituals that help you wind down at night and do your best to stick to them.
7. Start Earthing. One of the best ways to reset our circadian rhythms is to get barefoot contact with the Earth aka Earthing or Grounding. This is a slightly unconventional recommendation that I’ve written off in the past as too hippy, even for me. But I’ve become convinced after reading some amazing journal articles on the benefits. According to Chevalier et al., “Mounting evidence suggests that the Earth's negative potential can create a stable internal bioelectrical environment for the normal functioning of all body systems. Moreover, oscillations of the intensity of the Earth's potential may be important for setting the biological clocks regulating diurnal body rhythms, such as cortisol secretion”. From a practical standpoint, the recommendation is “barefoot sessions” (weather-permitting) for as little as 30-40 minutes daily. There are also some emerging grounding technologies that give you the same benefits without the barefoot time. For more on Earthing, visit this website.
   
   
   

The full effects of aligning your circadian rhythm with natural rhythms of light and dark are just beginning to be understood. We’ll likely find out more details about the consequences of circadian misalignment as more of the population experiments with living out of sync with natural cycles. My bet is that it is a bit like how we’ve come to understand the importance of eating whole foods. We don’t fully understand all of the intricate biochemical components in the whole plant that positively interact with our physiology, but since we’ve co-evolved eating plants it has a net positive impact that processed food can’t match. Similarly, our bodies have evolved eating, sleeping, moving in rhythm with natural cycles or light and dark and thus following this evolutionary pattern impacts our health in ways we may never fully understand. Try optimizing your circadian rhythm yourself and see how you feel!!  As always, I’d love to hear how it goes.

Authored by Bri Dunbar, LAMFT
 
Sexual enjoyment and satisfaction are an important part of keeping a romantic relationship healthy and thriving. It’s also one of the hardest things to TALK about. We get flushed and squeamish just trying to figure out how to broach the topic. As a result often we just keep silent, hoping our partners can read our minds and manage to achieve satisfying our most private and intimate desires. Unfortunately, that plan is rarely successful. More than likely, if you aren’t talking about sex with your partner, you also aren’t enjoying it to the extent that you could be.
 
I often encourage the couples I work with to learn how to comfortably and confidently negotiate with their partner what their sex life will look like in order to optimize their mutual satisfaction. Sometimes that means talking about the frequency of sex. Sometimes that means talking about the type of sex you or your partner would most enjoy. Sometimes that means talking about the setting or the foreplay or even one’s past traumas around sexuality. The most common question I receive when I make this suggestion is, “How should I bring this up? It never seems like the right time or the right mood to initiate this conversation.” I completely understand the hesitation. We are not socialized to talk about sex with any confidence or eloquence. It can swing from sterile to crude in tone but rarely does the conversation settle into a space that is casual and comfortable.
 
I was recently introduced to an activity that can help to not only break the ice around this taboo topic, but can also help to provide a guideline for the language we use when discussing such sensitive material. Language is so important in establishing a mutual zone of comfort in these already uncomfortable conversations! This activity is meant to be both playful and informative. It encourages you to first assess your own preferences and then to learn the preferences of your partner.
 
Steps:

1. Both you and your partner make a chart with 4 columns.
2. In the first column, you write the names of as many body parts as you can imagine may be associated with sexuality. Feel free to list the obvious, but don’t rule out the more creative and less obvious body parts too! Try to use the medical term for these body parts in this column.
3. In the second column, write the term you would prefer to have used when you are TALKING about this body part with you partner.
4. In the third column, write the term you would prefer you partner use to refer to this body part while you are in the midst of ENGAGING in sexual act.
5. In the fourth column, write a term that you NEVER want to be used in any context to refer to this body part.
6. For example: Column1: “butt” Column2: “backside” Column3: “bum” Column4: “behind”
7. Then (here’s where it gets interesting!) share your list and your language preferences with your partner. Reserve judgment of yourself AND your partner- nothing is too prudish, nothing is too crude. Allow yourself to laugh and get embarrassed, but commit to saying all the words out loud!

Guest post by Molly Keeler of Look See Do Fitness

The pursuit of health, personal growth, and improved quality of life relies on living a balanced life. To achieve balance, we need to care for our mind, body, and spirit. Fitness is essential toward maximizing our level of health and wellness to live a long, full, and healthy life.

These days most of us feel pretty out of control, and are constantly trying to cross things off our "To Do" list, just trying to keep our head above water. Those stresses and putting yourself last will indeed take a toll on your body, mind and health. Implementing daily workouts empower you to feel in control, and provide a moment in the day to focus on yourself.

Besides the physical gains we get from exercise, such as warding off stroke, metabolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, depression, cancer, arthritis and falls, it is vital to our mental health:

• Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication — but without the side-effects. In addition to relieving depression symptoms, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing.
• Exercise promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, reduced inflammation, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. It also releases endorphins that energize your spirits and make you feel good.
• Physical activity immediately boosts the brain’s dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin levels—all of which affect focus and attention. In this way, exercise works in much the same way as ADHD medications such as Ritalin and Adderall.
• Getting outside in any way, shape or form is a powerful way to instantly improve your mood. Sunshine is essential for the production of Vitamin D, which clears that foggy brain and helps you to feel happier and more alive, or at least have more clarity for your next task. Now, there's an added bonus for exercising outdoors!
• Working out lowers the amount of cortisol that your brain releases, making you physically and mentally healthier. Lowering cortisol levels are always a good thing, since excess cortisol also encourages fat gain, particularly around the abdomen, which then heightens your risk of a heart attack or stroke.

If you are new to fitness, or are getting back at it, start it out easy. Try to work on some fundamental exercises and progress slowly, perhaps just 30 minutes a day. You do not have to marry yourself to particular weightlifting modality or principle. Each person out there has different goals, needs, injury histories, experience, and equipment access. What works for one person won't always work the same way for the next. Never compare yourself to another, YOU are in charge of you, no one else is.

The only program that works is one you enjoy - otherwise you won't follow it. One person’s happy place may be yoga at the ass crack of dawn, while another person’s bliss is sweating it out at a boot-camp right after work. Do what makes you feel like the super hero you are and schedule it at a time you know you have the gusto to make it happen. Make exercise a legitimate appointment with yourself, ON YOUR CALENDAR, just like all your other important appointments. YOU are important, don’t let anyone or yourself tell you anything different. 

How to get started:
We all need a boost or motivation to get our asses moving and shaking every so often, and that’s where other folks may help you get your groove back. Try to get a buddy to take a hike with, or walk your dog a little further each day. Partner up with a friend via the phone, and share a text when you have completed a workout to get the praise for accomplishing being the bad ass you are, or have them tell you get off the damn couch and move your body when you just can’t fathom moving again. If you enjoy getting out of the house to work out, think about taking a class that strikes your fancy. Maybe you’ll find some pretty cool, like minded folks to get your sweat on with and find your happy place for working out. If those ideas don’t turn your crank, perhaps a few sessions with a personal trainer can help you get on the path to consistently working out. Many trainers even work out of gyms, and some come right to your home so you will have no excuses, nowhere to hide, and the skills brought directly to you without crowds or a drive to the gym.

Get the most bang for your buck:
Consistent workout routines provide vast benefits for our entire being, increase our strength and fitness. That said there is a fine line between training hard and overtraining. Short, intense workouts can be great for inducing fat loss, increasing aerobic capacity, and reducing risk for cardiovascular disease. On the flip side, engaging in these physically demanding activities too regularly or too intensely can contribute to negative symptoms of overtraining for some. Excessively intense exercise can even cause a variety of health problems, especially for those dealing with other heath factors such as autoimmune disease, gut issues, or adrenal fatigue. In short, overtraining can be a source of stress, instead of the stress relief we want to glean from fitness.

Here are a few techniques to avoid unhealthy body responses while still challenging your body:

• Reduce the frequency. While pushing yourself hard at the gym is not necessarily problematic, doing it too often during the week is overtraining. High intensity, high stress exercise should be limited to two or three times a week, especially for those who are dealing with other health issues, especially autoimmune conditions or digestive troubles.
• Mix it up. High intensity exercise may be ideal for losing body fat and improving lean muscle mass. Instead of doing a hard-core workout on your fourth workout, try doing a yoga class or walk outside instead to focus on hormonal and neurotransmitter balance, which is also supporting your fitness goals. This form of movement also encourages quick recovery from your more intense exercise schedule and reduce stress. It's all about balance.
• People with active autoimmune disease. Avoid high-intensity workouts such as long distance running, and opt for low-moderate intensity cardio or strength training.
• Remember to rest. Plan for rest days and time in your workouts for rest and recovery. This "down time" is essential for the metabolic changes we want to glean from exercise and for building strength.
• Reach out for support. Grab a buddy, hire a personal trainer, find a way to stay engaged, empowered and accountable to your efforts. 

References
Exercise: 7 Benefits of Regular Physical Activity, Mayo Clinic
For Depression, Prescribing Exercise before Medication by Olga Khazan published in the Atlantic

Authored by Dr. Barrett

At Wellness Minneapolis we talk about reducing sugar intake…a lot. What’s the big deal with sugar? As a person who struggles with several ‘sweet teeth’ let me tell you there is a big problem. Not only is sugar incredibly damaging to our bodies but it is also a hard habit to break. Several research studies have shown it can be as addictive as drugs such as cocaine 1. When we eat carbohydrates they are broken down in to sugar, which enters our blood stream. The glycemic index was created to explain how different kinds of carbohydrates directly affect blood sugar. Foods with a low glycemic index like whole oats are digested slowly which only causes a gradual rise in blood sugar. Foods such as a white potato have a high glycemic index and can spike blood sugar quickly. Our bodies use sugar, fat and protein for fuel. Interestingly, a human can survive consuming zero carbohydrates (sugar) and instead acquire all energy from proteins and fat. Carbohydrates are not a required food group as some old food pyramids (below) would have you believe. This doesn’t mean that we should remove all carbohydrates from our diets but we should be cautious with our intake and instead focus on a diet high in vegetables.
 

What are the dangers with consuming a diet high in carbohydrates particularly high glycemic carbohydrates?
 
Increased risk for:

• Dementia 2,3
• Heart disease 4
• Obesity
• Type 2 Diabetes
• Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD)

 
Even in people who don’t have chronically high blood sugar (diabetes) elevated blood sugar is associated with dementia. 5 Even in healthy people, having your blood sugar be closer to the higher end of the range of normal can have negative effects on your brain. Pretty shocking!
 
When we think about dietary risk factors for heart disease sugar is not usually high on the list, but it should be! A 20-year prospective study of 82,802 women looked at the relationship between lower carbohydrate diets and heart disease. Women who ate low-carbohydrate diets had a 30 percent lower risk of heart disease. It is important to note that the benefit was higher when the protein and fat sources were obtained from vegetables.6  More evidence of the heart benefits from a lower-carbohydrate approach comes from a randomized trial known as the Optimal Macronutrient Intake Trial for Heart Health (OmniHeart) A healthy diet that replaced some carbohydrate with protein or fat did a better job of lowering blood pressure and “bad” LDL cholesterol than a healthy, higher-carbohydrate diet. 7,8
 
NAFLD is quickly becoming the most common liver disease worldwide. This condition is almost entirely related to overconsumption of carbohydrates. The vast majority of NAFLD cases develop in conjunction with insulin resistance or metabolic syndrome. This preventable liver disease is also becoming a major cause for liver transplants. Patients with elevated blood sugar will try to limit the glycemic load by consuming sweeteners high in fructose such as agave. High fructose sweeteners advertise on their label that they are low glycemic and therefore have less effect on blood glucose levels. This is true, but what the label doesn’t tell you is that fructose is much more damaging to the liver and a causative factor in NAFLD 9. I recommend patients avoid sweeteners high in fructose, especially high fructose corn syrup.
 
There is no perfect diet that everyone should follow but if you have a family or personal history of diabetes, dementia, obesity, heart disease or fatty liver disease you may want to consider limiting your sugar intake and consuming whole grain carbohydrates in moderation.

The pyramid below represents an anti-inflammatory diet rich in vegetables, healthy fats, protein and whole grain carbohydrates in moderation. 

References:
1.Ahmed, SH. Guillem, K. Vandaele Y. Sugar addiction: pushing the drug-sugar analogy to the limit. Curr Opin Clin Nutr Metab Care. 2013 Jul:16(4): 434-9
2.Crane PK, Walker R, Hubbard RA, et al. Glucose Levels and Risk of Dementia. The New England journal of medicine. 2013;369(6):540-548. doi:10.1056/NEJMoa1215740.
3.Ohara T. Doi Y, Ninomiya T. Hirakawa Y et al. Glucose tolerance status and risk of dementia in the community: the Hisayama study. Neurology. 2011 Sep 20;77(12):1126-34.
4.Quanhe Yang, PhD1; Zefeng Zhang, MD, PhD1; Edward W. Gregg, PhD2; et al
Added Sugar Intake and Cardiovascular Diseases Mortality Among US Adults JAMA Intern Med. 2014;174(4):516-524
5.Ravona-Springer R, Schnaider-Beeri M. The association of diabetes and dementia and possible implications for nondiabetic populations. Expert review of neurotherapeutics. 2011;11(11):1609-1617. doi:10.1586/ern.11.152.
6.Halton TL, Willett WC, Liu S, et al. Low-carbohydrate-diet score and the risk of coronary heart disease in women. N Engl J Med. 2006;355:1991-2002.
7.Appel LJ, Sacks FM, Carey VJ, et al. Effects of protein, monounsaturated fat, and carbohydrate intake on blood pressure and serum lipids: results of the OmniHeart randomized trial. JAMA. 2005;294:2455-64.
8.Swain JF, McCarron PB, Hamilton EF, Sacks FM, Appel LJ. Characteristics of the Diet Patterns Tested in the Optimal Macronutrient Intake Trial to Prevent Heart Disease (OmniHeart): Options for a Heart-Healthy Diet. Journal of the American Dietetic Association. 2008;108(2):257-265. doi:10.1016/j.jada.2007.10.040.
9.Vos MB, Lavine JE. Dietary fructose in nonalcoholic fatty liver disease. Hepatology 2013 Jun;57(6):2525-31.

Every couple fights. Every single one. But often times couples come in to therapy when the fighting has gotten out of control. Maybe it is happening too often. Maybe the fighting has gotten too mean and too loud. Or maybe it isn’t proving to be productive, leaving both partners feeling like they are having the same fight over and over again.
 
Fair fighting is the idea that, although fighting with your partner is an unavoidable element of any relationship, you can do it in a way that is both respectful and productive by utilizing a few effective “rules.” The Fair Fighting rules create some boundaries for the fight and a safe and contained space to work through conflict and disagreement.
 
The Fair Fighting Rules:
 
1. Schedule your fight and name the topic.
Note when something has come up that bothers you and notify your partner that you would like to discuss it in more depth at a later time. Schedule a specific day and time to reconvene. This may be only a half hour after the initial hurt, or it may be next week. Pick a time frame that will give you and your partner enough space to cool down, process your feelings, sort out what you want to say and approach the discussion with the goal of working through the conflict. Set the agenda, being careful to limit the fight to one defined topic. If there are a multitude of issues, schedule a separate fight for each.
 
Often times when you dive into a fight at the moment you are upset, your argument is disorganized and your feelings are operating on high volume. You can catch your partner off guard or end up involving “innocent bystanders” in the fallout. Additionally, you may not actually say what you mean.
 
2. Listen. Then repeat back to you partner in your own words what you heard them say.
We all want to talk first. We all want to be heard. Set aside those goals and first focus on listening. The goal is to confirm you understand your partner’s perspective and to clear up any miscommunications. To “win” a fight is not necessarily to get your way, it is to leave the discussion with a better understanding of your partner and their perspective.
 
3. Entertain your partner’s feedback and assessment of your behavior.
This is to say, let go of your defensiveness. Before immediately denying that you did what your partner is accusing you of doing, pause and consider if they may have a good point. Your partner probably knows you best, assume their feedback is meaningful and worthy of being considered. Maybe they are wrong or have misunderstood you in some way, but before concluding that that is the case, consider if the suggestion they just dropped in your suggestion box may merit some attention.
 
4. Notice first where your two perspectives coincide.
There is a tendency to focus on the point where perspectives diverge. First, find a point of similarity, even if it is just, “We agree that didn’t go well. We would like to handle it differently next time.” This builds a sense of teamwork. It creates a shift in the argument. It is no longer one partner against the other. It is you two against “The Disturbance,” working together to problem solve and find a solution.
 
5. Assess each partner’s stake in the fight.
Does one of you care more about this specific topic than the other? Then maybe the point of compromise is skewed in the more invested partner’s direction.  If you find the area of interest is of much more concern to your partner than to you, consider if this would being an area in which you are willing to concede, knowing that in a future fight in which you are more invested in the topic, your partner will reciprocate. Keep in mind that in the big picture of the relationship, this should balance out. There are some things in life that you will care about more than your partner and you will put your foot down in a bigger way. And vice versa, there are some areas, that although you may have preferences about how they go, your partner will care more and you can willingly to step back a bit to let his or her preferences take precedence.
 
6. Offer POSITIVE and ADDITIVE suggestions to modify your partner’s conduct.
Try to avoid telling your partner what to stop doing or what you don’t like and instead inform them of what you would prefer in place of the problematic behavior.
For example, “I hate when you empty the garbage and don’t put a new bag in the can. Stop doing that!” and be easily restated as “I’d prefer if you would put a new bag in the can as soon as you empty the garbage. That makes life run much more smoothly!” The language we use can create a powerful change in the tone of a conflict. Choose your words wisely.
 
7. Declare a (temporary) truce.
In the midst of great conflict and stress it can begin to feel like you and your partner are ALWAYS fighting. Build in some fight-free time. Table the discussion, let go of what is bothering you and enjoy one another’s company. This will take some practice. Try taking a few deep breaths. Imagine you are breathing out the tension with every exhale. Trust that you will have a chance to work through this conflict at a later time. This may only last for a meal or it may be a week long vacation that you can put into the protective bubble of a fight holiday. Remember that these moments serve as the buoys to get you through a rough patch in a partnership. Allow yourself to enjoy it!
 
Putting Fair Fighting Skills into Practice
In therapy, I ask couple to hang this list of Fair Fighting rules in a visible place in their home and suggest each partner chooses a new skill for themselves to practice each week until they have found the rules that work best in their relationship. This is the key to creating lasting change in conflicts. Of course, you can probably quickly identify the skills you think your partner needs to focus on, but choosing one for yourself fosters self-awareness and growth.
 
When you fight fairly, you practice better conflict resolution and communication in your meaningful relationships. You will feel more connected and better understood by your partner. You will also better understand your partner and his or her perspective. The relationship feels healthier and the individuals benefit from that growth and connectedness.
 
So, is there a fair fighting rule you can put in to practice in your own relationship?